Counting Calories, Hot Weather, Malaise

So I count calories.  I think it is what is helping me lose weight.  If I start thinking about how many calories I used to eat everyday, I am amazed I hadn't gained more than I already had.  Thinking that I would eat in one meal the same amount of calories I eat in an entire day (sometimes more).  Crazy.  I can't imagine doing that now.  It makes me crazy to think I used to think that eating fast food all the time is okay and just eating because I am bored, or sad, or happy isn't okay.  That there are other things that I can do other than just eat when I'm not hungry.

A second note, it is so hot.  Like today it is literally 100 degrees outside.  I can hardly believe it.  I can't remember the last time it was this hot.  I mean, its been hot before but this is crazy.  I want to start getting out and walking to get some extra exercise.  Luckily, next week its supposed to be in the 80s.  That is a very welcome relief.  I am losing at a pretty good rate - and I'm starting to see a difference so   I think if I add in some extra exercise then I should see a bigger loss.  But also, I would rather just do it to get some time outside and hopefully boost my energy a bit.

Malaise.  The definition is "a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy, or discomfort".  That is what I have been feeling - I can't put my finger on it other than I feel like I lack direction in a bunch of different directions.  It is making me anxious and I just worry about what I am going to do next all the time.  Professionally, I am at a crossroads but I think I will figure it out.  This week my goal is to start really looking for something meaningful.  I have a general idea of what direction I want to go in, but I'm still trying to figure it out.  I feel like things can change.

Clearly, I'm in a funk.  But it hasn't effected my eating habits so I am just going to figure it out.  So yea.  

Stay cool.

Eating enough?

Well, I feel like I am.  However, when I look at how much I am eating I don't think I am.  The big problem is that I feel full.  For instance, all I have had today is an apple, some carrots and dip and an english muffin.  That's it.  I'm full.  Its barely 300 calories but I just don't feel the need to eat.  I ate a big dinner the other night and it made me sick.  It wasn't bad for me - it was just too large.  I had little too much yummy vegetables. So in fact, you CAN get too much of a good thing.  I know they tell you that you need to eat a certain number of calories in order to not to go in to "starvation mode" but I'm not sure how true that is.  My body is still losing weight so I feel like I'm not starving myself by any means.  I just eat things that are lower in calories and enjoy it.  As I have shown, I have also had pizza and went out to mexican but it isn't an every night thing.  So clearly it's not that I have a problem.  I just need to start letting myself eat stuff that is higher in calories (especially during the day).  Maybe I can start getting more creative.  I don't know - maybe I need to have a protein shake or something during the day.  My sister did that for awhile.  I'll have to check on her thoughts on those.  I just hate going to sit down to dinner and knowing that according to my plan I need to eat 1000 calories.  It just is pretty frustrating.  Anyways.  I guess I will see what she thinks I should do.

Hope everyone had an amazing 4th of July!

Eating anything you want - and still losing!

It can be done, friends.  I am pretty much proof.  I have been through a good two weeks again and lost a pretty good deal of weight for that time.  However, I haven't deprived myself at all.  You can't.  It is what I think keeps me going.  I can have anything I want.  In fact, I went out for dinner at a Mexican place on Friday and ate what I wanted.  However, after starting this what I wanted has changed but I would have had anything I wanted regardless and not felt bad.  Why, you ask?  Because I know that I don't do it everyday, that I won't be doing it again soon and that I have eaten the right way all day to allow me to have it.  And the cool thing is, I still lost weight over the period that I had it. One meal will never destroy your progress - unless it is followed by another meal like that and then another.  It's all about moderation and portion control.  I had pizza a couple of Fridays ago, but I fit it in my calories and probably enjoyed it more than I would if I had double what I ate or had just had it a few days before.

I think coming to terms with the fact that you can eat this stuff even if you are making a change is good.  I know that if I had to live my life without ever having pizza again I wouldn't be the happy go lucky person I am.  So go forth, measure and weigh and eat in moderation!

Numbers on the scale

Let's all admit - to those who try to lose weight, it is an obsession.  You see the number on the scale and it does something to your mind.  For me, a good day means I will skip a few days before I weigh again and if I have a bad day (no loss or gain) it means I will start checking my weight obsessively.  Luckily, I've found that I haven't had a bad day and that the good days are more regular.  Since last Friday I have lost about 3 pounds.  I am really proud of that and I am even more happy that it is getting easier each day to stick to eating as healthy as possible.

It's amazing how once you can train yourself not to want a lot of food, that so little food can be filling. For example, today for lunch I had a tuna salad sandwich (with less mayo and more mustard) and 1/2 cup strawberry halves and some whipped topping.  This is a very filling lunch.  I don't do the diet bread either - I have good old wheat bread (with extra fiber) and I measured out two ounces of the tuna (which is less than the suggest 2.6 oz serving).  It was more than enough for my sandwich and my 1/2 cup of strawberries was also half a serving but I didn't feel the need to eat any extra.  In fact, I'm quite full.  Seeing the scale before I ate reflecting the difference these changes are making really encourage me to continue and work hard at being more conscious of what I eat and how much of it I allow myself.

It just goes to show you that hard work does pay off.  These things don't happen overnight.  You can't put limits on yourself you can't stick to and all that other stuff people tell you when you are trying to lose weight.  It's hard to believe I haven't had fast food in almost two weeks or that I haven't had a Dr. Pepper either.  But you know what, I really don't want it (right now).

Enjoy the weather!

Struggles and Small Victories

I have to say, this time is a bit harder than when I started last time.  Last time I was a lot more excited and was less frustrated by others eating.  Maybe it's I am having a bad week - I don't know.  However, yesterday was a rough day for me.  Courtney and I went to a pool with some family and had intended on eating there.  You know - no big deal.  Courtney knew to make my plate and give me the correct sized portions.  Which she did.  There was birthday cake - and I had some.  Not too much, but some.  However, Courtney ate a lot more than I did.  I know she is at a different place and doesn't have the issues that I do.  Yet that doesn't make it easier to see her doing what I want to be doing.  I consider it a small victory that I didn't over eat and that I stuck to my plan.  However, it was just a hard day.  I am really learning that I like foods that have more fiber because they keep me from feeling hungry.

This week I am going to start drinking more water.  I know I don't drink enough and I think if I really boost it then I will feel less hungry and will make my skin look more healthy.  Exactly what I want - an indirect effect from a positive behavior.  Also, I think I am going to start doing some more exercise.  I'd walk if it wasn't so HOT.  I just can't do it because I start to feel sick.  That means I have to find an alternative to going outside and walking.  No big deal - there are all these Tumblrs that have great workout suggestions, I just need to do them.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Someone Else Has Taken Over

Well, its been a rough road.  I had some solid weight loss, but after some health issues, I had a setback.  Then, in my typical style, I really veered off track and gained weight (but not too much).  So then I realized that I needed to get back on track.  I really thought about where I go wrong and what keeps veering me off track - and its two main things; when my diet is not organized and portions.  Sometimes if it is not strictly laid out to what I need to eat, I veer off course.  The whole concept of not knowing is very hard on me and causes me to really get on edge.  Also, I am not the best at measuring a portion out.  If I get 13 chips and they are not whole, then I have to "guess" to what pieces constitute one chip.  That can often cause me big problems.

So I enlisted my sister to step in.  She makes my meals and measures my portions so that I don't cheat.  I don't know how long its going to last - but it is going to last until I think I can handle it on my own.  It is really working.  I have only been at it since Monday (it's Friday) and I have gotten within a pound of where I was when I stopped earlier this year.  I am happy because I have been able to get back on the diet plan.  It isn't the easiest thing, but I really am having a better time of it this go round.

The hard part is getting back to the exercise.  It is really hot here again.  Like 100+ degrees with a heat index.  So I am trying to figure out what it is that I am going to do to get in some physical activity.  All this being said I am looking to find something that I can do to get a little burn in on those hot days.  I think I am going to try to walk for 15 mins a day at least - for me it burns a little over 100 calories.  Then I might try work out something that I can do inside (like a workout video or something) to get an indoor burn.

So at least I am back at it - for real this time!

Falling off the Wagon

So I did it ... I fell off the wagon.  I haven't been writing on here because I haven't been "getting healthy" as much lately.  I have been eating a lot more fast food and more food than I should in general lately.  At least I know why - I was really stressed about some unrelated health issues and a lot of the time I deal with stress by eating.  Everything is okay now - so I think that I am really ready to get back to it.

I started walking again yesterday - walked a mile and I think I'm going to walk two miles today.  I'm going to update my music and just start walking.  I have some things I want to think about, so it will be a good time to get some thinking done.

So, encouragement and prayers are welcome on my strugglish journey.